OK, So the Mutants Have Not Landed Sept 2, 2011

Friends and Family,

I spoke with my oncologist, and we didn't get the news we hoped to hear today. My cancer does not have the right genetic mutation to make me eligible for the targeted therapy. Curse the lack of mutants!

Now we move on from the disappointment and pull the positive from where we can. They continue to work on new targeted genetic therapies, and OHSU is doing a full genetic profile of my cancer. If/when new genetic therapies come along, they will know immediately if I qualify. However, the best news today from my oncologist is that the CT scan that I had last week showed no growth of the cancer from the CT scan that I had a month before. With all of your prayers, positive energy, and loving support, is this a coincidence? I think not!!! Thank you all so much for your part in this. I don't know how anyone could get through this without the love and support of friends.

At this point, all I can do is control what I have control over, and let go of the rest. I have recovered from surgery enough to be back in the gym this week, I'm climbing seven flights of stairs twice a day, I'm meditating on healthy lungs and shrinking cancer, and trying to process the emotional load that comes with all of this. And the best part of all this: It has gotten much easier to stay in the present and get the most out of each moment. That has created some very special moments with Genevieve.

I got my hair cut two weeks ago. I thought I should get people used to the shape of my head before it goes naked. This has turned out to be a good idea at the gym and when meeting with my clients, since some people barely recognize me now.

I was more than a little hesitant when the young woman at Great Clips with tattoos all over her arms, dark purple hair with a shock of blond in the front, and hair died in purple leopard spots on the sides of her head, looked around the waiting room and said, "Who's next?" I blinked, breathed in deep, and said, "I am." On my way back to her chair I had to remind myself that she couldn't have done that to her own hair. And then I reminded myself that the rest of my hair was probably going to be gone before long anyway. It's too late to turn back, so let go, trust, and let it happen. (I'm getting practice with that thought.)

Turns out she was very nice, and gave me a great buzz cut. Who would have thought that appearance wouldn't matter in a person who is altering your appearance???

Next Wednesday Genevieve and I will go to the hospital for a day procedure, where they will install a medication port in my chest to make it easier to do chemotherapy. Then Thursday I will begin chemotherapy. I'll do one round every three weeks, for four to six rounds, depending on how the cancer responds. In the past when I had chemo I had one rough weekend crashed on the sofa every three weeks, but was otherwise OK and missed very little work. I'm hoping it will be similar this time.

Love to you all, and thank you again for sharing this journey with me.