Hope December 8, 2011

Friends and Family,

The news is full of positives. Last Tuesday I had a CT scan, and the results showed NO GROWTH in the cancer!

Next, Genevieve and I met with my oncologist last Thursday. He completely stunned us. He said that he is hopeful that the genetic drug Tarceva will shrink the cancer away COMPLETELY. This is because I have many tiny spots rather than large tumors, so it's easier for the drug to get at the cancer.

With so much on the line, it's hard to let go and accept that much hope. The more I allow in, the more vulnerable I am if it doesn't work out. Sounds kind of like a relationship, doesn't it? Better to have loved and lost... I guess it's time to work on this one.

I started the "maintenance" phase on Thursday, where I have an infusion of Avastin every three weeks. It's a chemo-type drug but without the wicked side effects. I'll stay on Avastin for as long as it keeps the cancer from growing - anywhere from a couple of months to a couple of years. The longer the better! This is the last step before the genetic treatment phase.

With the "real" chemo now finished, my hair is growing again. Like the first crocuses of spring pushing out from under the rocks, the little nubbins are popping up everywhere. It's proof that there's life after chemo. Except... all the hairs are grey! It happened this way five years ago, too. The grays popped up first, and the black followed. I just figured that the grays were more experienced, so they led the way. This time I'm hoping that there are enough black hairs left so that I will know when they have made their appearance.

Wishing you joy though the holidays. There is so much to be grateful for.