Two Presents, and a Tiny Lump of Coal

Friends and Family,

I got a couple of early Christmas healthcare presents this year! My efforts to decrease unnecessary medical care got rewarded. First, both my oncologists agreed that I had gotten all the benefit that I would get out of my monthly bone-strengthening injections, since I’ve been taking them for two years longer than has been proven to give maximum benefit. That’s the injection that put me at risk of the Zombie Apocalypse (necrosis of the bone). Now, there will be no more monthly injections. Woohoo! Not only that, but these injections cost roughly five grand a pop. Yowza! This is the odd part: Insurance companies will deny care at times, yet they let me have $120K of overkill treatment without so much as a “Treatment Denied” rubber stamp anywhere in sight. Maybe I should be asking them for a Christmas present next year for stopping this wasted expense. Like, maybe, waive my deductibles? Ha! I’d have a better chance of seeing Santa.

The next great present was that my clinical trial sponsor agreed to reduce my CT scans from once every six weeks, down to once every twelve weeks, which is more standard. I have been concerned about getting all that extra radiation, since each CT scan exposes me to the radiation equivalent of 100-200 X-rays. Yes, you read that correctly. That means that I’ve been getting the equivalent of an unbelievable TWO-AND-A-HALF TO FIVE X-RAYS A DAY FOR OVER TWO YEARS. All that radiation can’t be good! I’m thankful that I’m down to a more “normal” daily toxic average of half that amount. Did anyone ever tell you that cancer treatment can be hazardous to your health?

That brings me to the tiny lump of coal. I was concerned about a spot on my skin, so I went in to see my dermatologist. The suspicious critter was a spot the size and shape of a nickel, if Salvador Dali had painted it. Do you have Salvador Dali edges on your moles? Time to get them checked.

That spot turned out to be skin cancer. I have to wonder about this one: Docs are always saying that skin cancer is caused by too much sun exposure, but this one is under my arm, where the sun never shines. Even in Hawaii, I never go shirtless. The CT scan radiation does shine there, however. Could all those scans have caused this??? Fortunately, it’s the slow-growing basal cell variety, so I’ll have it removed on Friday the 13th, and hope no black cats cross my path on the way to the doctor’s. 

There is one more bit of good news. Although there are no scan results from this last trip to San Diego, Dr. Patel says my lungs sound good, and all other signs are pointing in the right direction.

So that’s it for now. Lumps of coal and Friday the 13th aside, all is going fantastic.

Wishing you joy through the holidays, without any lumps of coal in sight.